---
title: "Waiting"
description: "_"
date: 2016-11-30
published: true
tags:
  - blog
---


_November 30, 2016_

I've always struggled with patience.  I like to seek immediate results.  I can't even wait to give presents.  So you can see how waiting for a life changing result would affect me.  My heart is racing, and I can barely sit still, let alone sleep.  I just want answers!

I have been told countless times to stay positive. Let me tell you a little secret...I'm NOT a positive person. You don't become a fighter by staying positive.  If I was always positive I wouldn't catch signs of trouble.  These are things I have learned through my last two years fighting for Ayla.

I ALWAYS FOLLOW MY GUT!!!

My gut hasn't been wrong yet.  However, in this particular case I what it to be wrong.  I want this to all be solved through surgery. I want to be able to put this nightmare behind me.

I need to be wrong for my kids.  Time will tell, I guess. For now I'll aim for neutral.

Back to waiting, and my NCIS Netflix binge.  Please let the minutes fly by!!!