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November 30, 2016
I've always struggled with patience. I like to seek immediate results. I can't even wait to give presents. So you can see how waiting for a life changing result would affect me. My heart is racing, and I can barely sit still, let alone sleep. I just want answers!
I have been told countless times to stay positive. Let me tell you a little secret...I'm NOT a positive person. You don't become a fighter by staying positive. If I was always positive I wouldn't catch signs of trouble. These are things I have learned through my last two years fighting for Ayla.
I ALWAYS FOLLOW MY GUT!!!
My gut hasn't been wrong yet. However, in this particular case I what it to be wrong. I want this to all be solved through surgery. I want to be able to put this nightmare behind me.
I need to be wrong for my kids. Time will tell, I guess. For now I'll aim for neutral.
Back to waiting, and my NCIS Netflix binge. Please let the minutes fly by!!!